I Didn't Even Know Her Name

BIRTH

I huddle around my pain
       you
could not love me enough
       to help me
with this long labor
your understanding
was removed from you
       at your own birth
       as your foreskin
              was removed
                     only women
       can be my midwives
accompanying me
       in this endless
              tearing
                     agony
                            of aloneness
       their hands
              touching me
              from the depths
              of their understanding
                     supporting
                     supplying the strength
                            I need
                     when my own strength
                            is frayed
                            and rent
                            like a garment
                            worn overlong
       encircle me
              my sisters
       surround me
              and sustain me
in this everlasting birth
as I expand
              and contract
       my bones grind together
       my insides
              are torn
                     downward
                     outward
       huddling over my pain
       learning to move with it
              until
       it is coming
       it is coming
              into the light
       a beginning
a beginning
       this birth of myself
              my body
              shall rejoice
              in its soon to be
              lightness
a beginning
a beginning
       of joy
       of self realization
       of affirmation
clench my hand
       it hurts so
       it hurts so
I feel it coming
       there is hope
       in my pain

Reprinted from
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HER NAME...
A COLLECTION OF POEMS
by JACI
Drawings: Ann Aslanidis
Computer Enhancement: Nikki Craft


I Didn't Even Know Her Name

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