I Didn't Even Know Her Name

I TRIED

I tried to be obliging
some say they never noticed
but I tried
        like those spike-heeled shoes
        I used to wear
        which made
        the act of walking
        a pennance
        the strangulating party dress
        which made
        the act of breathing
        a privilege

since I never could
learn the art of smiling
while I was in pain
I chose to remain silent
undoubtedly why
others still perceived me
as not quite acommodating enough
        in the name of love
        I tried hardest of all
        always alert
        for the slightest cue
        as to the part
        I must play
        until I found myself
        no more than a shadow
        amongst the shadows
       v and even there
        I tried and could not belong
        I tried and could not rest

for all the yards of velvet
I tried to hide myself in
the sharp edges of me
still came through

Reprinted from
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HER NAME...
A COLLECTION OF POEMS
by JACI
Drawings: Ann Aslanidis
Computer Enhancement: Nikki Craft


I Didn't Even Know Her Name

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